why Serve Day is for me

A few years ago, some people I barely knew completely overwhelmed me with their willingness to serve my family. My parents had just gone through a divorce and it was time for the house we had lived in to be completely empty and clean, and it was far from it. I had joined a few small groups during my senior year of high school and the summer after, but had not really shared my needs or any details about the situation I was facing. I only went to be around people who were similar to me and who I could have fun with outside of my situation at home. I was living house-to-house, a week at my mom’s and a week at my dad’s, and my mom and I were trying to get the final things from the old house, but it was a lot more than we bargained for and the deadline was approaching quickly. After weeks of nightly trips to the old house, to the storage building and back, and cleaning things to get it ready for the final day, we were in over our heads. My small group started to notice the need and without asking for help, they began to fill it.

One Friday night, after mentioning to a handful of people the plan and getting past being embarrassed to let them see the current state of the house, I told my mom I was going to hang out with friends (almost not a lie?), took the storage building key, and took a trip over to the old house. Over 30 people showed up that night- cleaning supplies, lawn mowers, and vacuums, in hand, and cars to haul our belongings across town cleaned out and ready to go. Two small groups came together and brought their friends, and I met people that night I had not met before. Over 30 college students came out to someone’s house they had not met, with their own supplies and tools, with an attitude to serve on a Friday night in the summer and stayed until the job was done. I was completely overwhelmed, both with the amount of people that came and the amount of tasks we had to complete. My mom and I were planning to get up early the next day and finish everything by ourselves, we both knew that was an impossible task but did not have any other solutions, so we had to keep the plan. People worked outside, took over 10 trips to the storage building across town with all of our boxes and leftover items in their own cars, vacuumed every room, scrubbed the floors, baseboards, and bathrooms- every single thing that could be done to that house was done. It went from a nightmare of a project to a clean, empty moved-out of house in one night, and no one left until it was finished. As it got later more people showed up and people went and bought cleaning supplies, mops, brooms, and everything else you can imagine. We stayed until close to midnight, sweaty and smelling like cleaning products, and joined together at the end and they prayed over me and my family. A group of people, some I had never met and most who would never see the impact on my family, gathered together on a Friday night in Tuscaloosa to clean my house from top to bottom, inside and outside, just simply to bless me and to help me bless my mom. I cried that night as I went home, overwhelmed by the love I had been shown and trying to figure out how I could make myself look and smell like I did not just spend hours cleaning a house and instead was "hanging out with friends."

The next morning our alarms went off early and my mom reluctantly woke up and started getting the cleaning supplies together for the dreaded day that was ahead and the impossible task list that had to be completed. She was expecting a 12-16 hour straight day of cleaning and moving, probably into the early hours of the next morning. I remember waking up more excited than ever to wake up- helping her get the supplies ready knowing the surprise that was to come. We got our work clothes on, stopped to get breakfast on the way, and headed over to the house, mom with dread and myself with delight. We got there and I talked her into doing a walk through to make a list of tasks before unloading the car and getting to work. As we walked in I recorded her reaction, she and I both were shocked and completely amazed by what had happened in such a short amount of time and the fact that people came together to do something we were dreading, and they did it with a smile. It almost felt like a dream. She was confused at first, we kept walking through and she was shocked, and by the end of the walk through when she realized there was nothing left to do, I think we both may have been in tears. There is not a better feeling than blessing someone who is not able to return the blessing. The idea of a group of people she had never met coming together to do something this huge for her was shocking, and honestly, I was just as shocked, if not more. I had never seen an act of love like this from someone who did not know the person on the receiving end, yet still cared enough to do the dirty work.

Every year in July my church does what we call Serve Day, where we take one day and join with people all over the world and make a tangible difference in our communities with serve projects that usually look similar to the one I mentioned above. Serve Day is not my natural flow, mosquitoes think they are my best friend and the outdoors are not for me. Hard labor and cleaning up someone else’s house is not for me. Doing the chores and clean up I would like to have done at my house at someone else’s house is not for me.

But, if doing these things for someone can bring them the same joy that it brought to myself and my mom that day, then it is for me. If I get 100 mosquito bites and a killer sunburn while giving someone the blessing myself and my family were given that Saturday morning, then bring it on. If it takes me being uncomfortable to bring the same experience from that day to someone else, then being uncomfortable is for me.

If being the hands and feet of Jesus looks like Serve Day, then Serve Day is for me. 

If Serve Day is a stretch for you like it is for me, let us commit to making a difference together this Saturday that we will never see fully and let us be the reason someone has a story to tell about the blessing they received. Let us be challenged and ready to go out on Serve Day and change one life for the better, it just may bless us as much as it blesses them. 

"As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace: whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies- in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen." (1 Peter 4:10-11)

waiting room

Since the beginning of this year, a strange topic has come up in conversation more times than ever in my life combined- the topic of death row. Something I was not informed about, have now been informed about, and have been given some insights about life through that I couldn't have imagined. 

Maybe I am naive, but a few months ago I did not know that death row was a current reality. I definitely did not know that people in my own state have been sentenced to death and are awaiting their day of execution. In conversation, I learned this ugly truth and the process in which it takes place, and the knot in my stomach began to form. People were reading my emotions through my face the day I found out, and probably days after as I processed for myself the idea of being sentenced to death but to still be alive. I still cannot comprehend. 

Much to my surprise, death row continued to come up casually in many different forms. The knot grew tighter. How can someone continue to live knowing a date that their life will be terminated? How can your mind process naturally in the waiting? How can you live in the days leading up to your death when you are literally trapped in the waiting room?

"Now Jesus was going up to Jerusalem. On the way, he took the Twelve aside and said to them, 'We are going up to Jerusalem, and the Son of Man will be delivered over to the chief priests and the teachers of the law. They will condemn him to death and will hand him over to the Gentiles to be mocked and flogged and crucified...'" (Matthew 20:17-19)

My heart hurt when I realized the reality of the week leading up to Easter Sunday for Jesus. In the Scripture above, Jesus told his best friends and family that they were going to Jerusalem and he was going to be killed, but they did not understand. Jesus walked and talked with them, knowing that he was walking to the place of his death, and yet, he was still present with them. How? I do not understand how Jesus could be on death row (yet without any sin) and still teaching and serving his disciples. He still was performing miracles, teaching lessons, and serving his disciples as he walked to his undeserving death and he was not mistaken, he knew exactly what he was headed for. On the last night before execution day, he got down on his knees and washed the feet of the people closest to him. I would imagine that the last thing I would want to do the night before the execution I knew was coming would be to wash the feet of the people with me. Not only did he wash the feet of his friends, but he washed the feet of the one he knew would betray him in the same form of servanthood. How did Jesus stay present while walking to his death?

Although I cannot relate to the feeling of being sentenced to death row, I am in a few parts of life that fall in stages of the "in-between". I seem to be in the middle of transitions, in the middle of changes, and on the way to good things but not quite there yet in many areas of my life. Quite honestly, this falls in the workplace, in my family, in tasks and in relationships where I feel like I am stuck in the waiting room. What does this mean for me? I feel like the Lord gave me a profoundly simple phrase to change the course of my days, weeks, and even years after thinking about this idea and digging into the significance of death row for me:
While I am waiting for my dreams to come true, life is unfolding in front of me. If Jesus was present in his walk to a wrongful death, how much more present should I be walking into his promises?

I am not on death row, but I am in a season of waiting. Honestly, every season of life is a season of waiting, just some more than others. If I am not waiting for a specific opportunity or thing to happen, ultimately I am waiting for the day when I step into eternity with Jesus. Some part of every season for all of us can make us feel stuck in the waiting room (one of my least favorite places to be). I feel like I am being challenged to not sit and wait for my name to be called, theoretically speaking, but to be present in the waiting room. I am challenged to talk to the people who are waiting with me, to pick up a magazine and learn something about someone or something, and to fill out the paperwork ahead of time. This will allow me to be prepared for when they call my name, although I do not know how long it will be, simply because I trust it is coming. Although I do not know how long it will take for my prayers to be answered and my time of waiting to be over, I do know that the promise is good and the time is coming when the waiting will be over and the promises fulfilled. I pray that it will be said of me when the prayers are answered and the promises fulfilled, that I was present in the waiting and did not waste the time I was given there. 

Enjoy the present & trust the promise.  

"It was so bad we didn't think we were going to make it. We felt like we'd been sent to death row, that it was all over for us. As it turned out, it was the best thing that could have happened. Instead of trusting in our own strength or wits to get out of it, we were forced to trust God totally..." (2 Corinthians 1:8-10 MSG)

Referenced messages:
"Sacred Moments" series- Dino Rizzo, Church of the Highlands
https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/series/sacred-moments
"The Now but Not Yet"- Andi Andrew 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-ZXNqSG7Ek

different

I have heard and used the word a lot lately and yet I am not convinced that it has a universally understood meaning. The word is "different". Webster's dictionary defines it as "not the same as another or each other; distinct." Maybe you have heard the phrase, "a good different or a bad different"?

Recently a close friend said to me, "your car smells different"- instead of asking whether she meant good or bad, I assumed the latter. I took it as more of an insult than a compliment. The same has been true in many conversations I have had with both friends and family about how this Christmas is going to be "different" and most people seemed to have the same understanding of the word as I did. I have let my redefining of the word determine the way I understand conversations and situations, and this has become especially true in this holiday season. Maybe you have done the same, consider this with me.

Does the above definition of "different" say anything or insinuate anything negative? Did my friend tell me my car smelled bad, or just different? Does the fact that this year's Christmas plans are a little different than years past mean that it will not be as good? I am guilty of answering yes without reason to all of those questions and more. I have redefined "different" from "not the same as another" to "not as good as another," and it is an incorrect definition.

In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophecy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. (Romans 12:6-8)

To sum it up- if you can prophesy, you are better than someone who teaches. If you are a giver, you have overcome the gift of the encourager. Most of all, if you are kind, you have received a superior gift over all others... not true. Changing the words in this verse is comparable with changing the definition of a word that is used regularly, giving it a negative connotation instead of a neutral or positive one. 

Can we consider "different" as positive? What if my car smelled better that day than normal and that is why it was different? Maybe Christmas with new traditions and trying new things can be better than the traditions that have happened for the last decade(s)? What if we default to the "good different" instead of the bad?

Just as God has given each of us different and equally important gifts, a change in plans or circumstance may be the catalyst for something good. When we say, "this Christmas will be different," it actually could be better and not worse. As we go through this holiday and the ones to come, let's try to default to the "good different" and go back to the original definition instead of the one that we may have altered on our own, even if it happened without realization. It is hard, but what can we lose?

Whether this Christmas be full of old traditions or new experiences for you, let us strive to make it different in a good way. Whether people are absent or new people are present, no matter whose house or what city, whether it's on Christmas day or not- no matter the circumstance- this one can be a good one. Different can be subjective, let's choose the "good different"- this Christmas day, and every day after. 

trudging through mud

"But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

One day at a time. Praying, waiting, listening- yet, no breakthrough, no clarity, no answers. Earlier this month, the Lord gave me a name for the season I am in. Season of mud. An image of myself standing ankle deep in a lake of mud sinking as I stood still came to my mind. I trudged through the mud, one step at a time, slowly and almost painfully, as I looked at what seemed like an eternity of mud around me. But when I looked up, I could see the dry land ahead. Not only was the dry land in the future, but there was someone standing there listening to my cries, hearing my pleas for help, begging me to keep moving forward. If I stood still I would sink, but with each step I grew closer to the land. As He stands on the shore of the mud, with water and towel to wash me off, "I will look to the Lord." As I pray prayers that seem unanswered and deal with problems in every area imaginable, "I will wait for the God of my salvation." As I trust that each step leads me closer to answers, and I continue to press in to the Lord, "My God will hear me." 

August has been a month that I will never forget. I feel as if every area of my life has been put under attack at once. I have been faced with conflict in my family, confusion in my day-to-day life, changing situations with friends and preparation for those, emotionally and practically, financial goals interrupted by unexpected expenses, and the list goes on. If you asked me how I was in the past month, I probably could not muster up a general "good" response and you might have gotten more than you asked for, I apologize for that. The only answer I could honestly give is "one day at a time." I feel like every day of the past month has been an episode of a TV show portraying my life- the people who know the whole story have favorite characters and scenes, and are each hoping for a particular outcome, and we are finding out together how it will all unfold day by day. The Lord gave me the image of mud the day before my church entered into a season of 21 days of prayer. Each day I trudged one more step through the mud, and powerful things happened, but I am still in the mud on day 23. I have not made it to the dry land yet, but the promise of the dry land ahead is still true. As I keep pressing forward in prayer, persistence, humility, and faith, I am confident that the dry land is ahead and my God is there with a towel and water ready to wash off the mud and let me walk lightly again. The waiting is so difficult, but the reward will be worth it. 

If you are walking through the mud right now, I am in it with you. If you feel like everyday you wake up just wondering what text, call, or email it will be today, there seems to be a target on your back that is larger than ever, and you cannot catch a break- relief is coming. Do not look down at the mud covering your feet, look up at the dry land and the friend waiting there for you named Jesus. I am trusting with you that when we reach the end of the mud, we will be able to say with confidence the following truth.

"I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand." Psalms 40:1-2

I have no idea how many more steps it will take me to get out of the mud, but I do know that I have not been forgotten. I have friends who have stepped into the mud and are walking with me, keeping me from choosing to stand still. My God hears my cries and even though the answers are still blurry, he is working for me. As I persistently pray for peace, wisdom, and clarity, and I look up to the dry land ahead, I am confident that the promise I have been given will come to pass and my God will lift me from the mud I am walking through. I hope to encourage you by telling you that if you are also in a season of mud, you are not alone. I am with you, I am taking it one day at a time even when it seems hopeless, and there is good on the other side of the current pain. Keep trudging, keep trusting, and keep praying because there is dry land ahead, and the person standing on the dry land calling you to come forward is even better than the dry land itself.

trash wars

Taking out the trash is the worst chore, especially when you live in an apartment of girls who all share that same opinion. In my last apartment, the constant struggle was keeping the trash out of the apartment. We would bag it and put it by the door, but the walk to the dumpster just seemed to be more than we could handle. For me personally, the worst part is the smell that comes from the top of the bag when you pull the strings to tie it together (gagging thinking about it). I would say that many living situations without a designated trash person (dad or brother maybe?) would have a similar problem.

In my mind, I named it: trash wars. See who can stand to see or smell the bag longest and how long someone else will leave it there. Let's call it a game of endurance. I began to play the game in my head often. The real test comes when someone has a friend over- does it stay or does it go? How many bags can accumulate before someone takes one out? It is an interesting game, but I would not call it fun- it is also a little lazy, guilty as charged.

Think about it- do you have a friend that you would let come into your house with a full trash bag by the door, maybe a messy room and dishes in the sink? You know the friend I am talking about, you simply are comfortable with them and know you will not be judged no matter what your life looks like. Imagine you let your "comfort" friend in the house in the middle of the trash war to watch a movie or to eat dinner, they stay for a while and have a good time, then they sneak out and take the trash with them to the dumpster for you. (Cue feeling like the worst friend ever and most disgusting person, realizing that the trash wars could have ended and you did not actually have to test your roommates...) So you tell them to leave the trash, they refuse because they want to serve you, and you feel like a crappy friend, woohoo!

What if we were as comfortable letting Jesus into the messy parts of our lives as we are letting our "comfort" friend in during trash wars? What if we let him into our messy rooms, relationships, and thoughts? What if we talked to him the way we talk to our friends who know the good and bad about everything that goes on in our lives, the one(s) we go to immediately after we hear news or anything happens?

"Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me." Revelation 3:20

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

Jesus cares more about us than our trash bags. He wants to be included in the messes and allowed to come into our lives at any point; he wants to be invited in at every point. When he knocks, we can answer confidently, no matter the condition of our house. Maybe life is a wreck, work is hard, friendships are confusing, and your house is messier than ever; that is when he wants to come in most. We do not need to clean up to let him in, the verse above does not say, "If anyone hears my voice, cleans his house, and opens the door," it simply says that He will come and eat with whoever hears him and lets him in. It is as simple as that, no matter the circumstance- just let him in. I even would go a step further and say that Jesus is like your "comfort" friend. If you let him in in the midst of trash wars, he most likely will come in and have fun, and sneak the trash out for you, no questions asked. I feel confident in knowing that my Jesus is more than a Creator, father, and savior- he is a friend, a "comfort" friend, and he has no problem taking the trash out for you once you simply let him in.

Let Jesus be your "comfort" friend, he wants more than anything for you to let him into every single room of your life and to help you clean it up, rather than making him wait for you to clean it up before you let him in.

sun behind the clouds

Sandy toes, windy air, salty waves- only one day on the beach and it's cloudy all day. Overcast, chilly, and no need for the sunglasses I just bought; sounds like the best beach day ever, right? I haven't written a blog post in a while and was starting to wonder why I felt like I had nothing to say. I took some time to revamp the style of my blog a few weeks ago but had no story to post- bummer. Over the past few days, I went on an incredible beach trip to celebrate one of my best friends. We weren't there for long but it was a much-needed getaway. As I sat on the beach and most of the group had trickled inside, I stayed and looked out over the ocean. Asking God why I wasn't hearing anything from him, why I had nothing to say, and getting frustrated because I felt like there was something blocking me from hearing Him. I sat looking into the ocean and asked God to show me something, begging for anything- and he did it. 

Even though I could not see the sun all day, it was still there. Even though I am in a season where I am not seeing miracles or hearing God often, He is still there. 

It was obvious to me at that point, after 5 hours straight on the beach, that there was some sun beneath the clouds, but it was not until later that I realized just how much sun I had gotten. I am burnt to a crisp, ask anyone on the trip or even probably Instagram could tell you as much. When I was sitting there in the cold wind on the beach I thought I was not getting any sun because I couldn't see it, but I was getting more sun than I thought was possible through the clouds. One day on the beach and what looks like a week's worth of sunburn showed me even more so that through this time of cloudy thoughts, confusion, and what feels like a dry season, God may be just behind the clouds. Although I am ready to graduate in May more than anything and am going through a season of big decisions, my faith is strong because he can still work through the clouds. I still got a bad sunburn even though I barely saw the sun with my eyes. He is still working in my life even though I cannot seem to see Him.  Maybe you are walking through a season (like me) where you feel like God is being silent or you aren't receiving the answers or breakthrough you have been praying for, just know that even on the cloudy days at the beach, the sun is still there. I knew going into the trip that overcast days produced just as much, if not more, sunburn than sunny days, but until I saw the results I was not completely convinced. Know that I am not out of the season yet, but He promised us in the midst of the cloudy season that he is only just beyond the clouds and He can still work just as much, if not more when we cannot see exactly what He is working on. 

"It is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

Appreciation goes first and foremost to the one behind the clouds, for speaking into my season of misunderstanding and seemingly silent answers, but also to the people who made this short trip one of the best. To the soon-to-be bride, Bri, and some of the coolest friends around- thank you for stretching me, loving me, and not waking me up early. You guys are truly the best around. 

*Photos by the incredibly talented April Harrison*

snow days & Phase 10

Sometimes things that are intended to be good turn into things that aren’t so good. I think we all can relate, right? Maybe these everyday things that aren’t so good are meant to lead us to a truth that applies to the bigger, more pressing things we are walking through simultaneously.

“For you, God, tested us;

you refined us like silver.

You brought us into prison

And laid burdens on our backs.

You let people ride over our heads;

We went through fire and water,

But you brought us to a place of abundance.”

Psalm 66:8-12

Tonight, through a harmless game of Phase 10 on a “snowy” Alabama night, things came to light in what first felt uncomfortable and unfortunate. A three-hour unfinished game of Phase 10 with a group of close friends led to hurt feelings and disagreement. The details aren’t necessary but only an understanding of the realization of something small turning into something big unexpectedly and without any one person at fault. I think we can all relate being stuck in the middle of an escalating situation and feeling like no one person has the power to fix it, but it is “too small” of a situation to be addressed. Through this late night semi-heated card game, the verse above came to life. We are being refined like silver and walking through what feels like hurt and fire because there is something better on the other side. We have been brought into the prison of disappointment and conflict, burdens of words and relationships have been laid on our backs, but it is not an obstacle for us to jump over by our own strength- it is taking us to the abundance of life that awaits on the outside. People like me (a people pleaser who hates conflict), let people walk over us and it sometimes feels like a drowning sensation in a situation that cannot be changed. I allow things to happen to me to keep the harmony, but sometimes that leaves me in what feels like the fire. The fire that is the fear of conflict and disagreement, the fire that is wanting to sink in situations where truth and real feelings are being spoken, but the fire is refining. No one wants to walk through the fire or feel like they are drowning, so don't think I am writing this off as a fun, exciting season, because I can say from personal experience it is not. We are not being put through the situation we are currently in because we deserve a struggle. We are not in the current situation we are in because God wants to see if we can make it. We are not walking through the friend or family situation we are walking through only to make us stronger- we are walking through our current situation because there is a place of abundance on the other side.

A place of abundance stands on the other side of the Phase 10 game the same way a place of abundance stands on the other side of the relational, financial, or spiritual struggle we are walking through. When the feelings have been stated, the shots have been fired, and the emotions run rampant- the result will lead you to a place of abundance from God alone. Abundance is defined as, “a very large quantity of something." An abundance of joy and an abundance of peace are ready when we walk out of the fire- it has not consumed us and we have not been allowed to burn up in the fire because we are protected and are being refined like silver. God is using the difficult situation you are in to refine you, to make you better and stronger, to build relationships and lead you to new things, and you will not burn in this fire. There is a place of great abundance on the other side and every step you take through the fire, every day you feel the same frustration or disappointment or anger, you are only moving closer to the abundance on the other side that God is preparing for you. Keep holding on, this fire will not burn you, it will not last forever, and there is a good thing if you just keep pushing through it.