sun behind the clouds

Sandy toes, windy air, salty waves- only one day on the beach and it's cloudy all day. Overcast, chilly, and no need for the sunglasses I just bought; sounds like the best beach day ever, right? I haven't written a blog post in a while and was starting to wonder why I felt like I had nothing to say. I took some time to revamp the style of my blog a few weeks ago but had no story to post- bummer. Over the past few days, I went on an incredible beach trip to celebrate one of my best friends. We weren't there for long but it was a much-needed getaway. As I sat on the beach and most of the group had trickled inside, I stayed and looked out over the ocean. Asking God why I wasn't hearing anything from him, why I had nothing to say, and getting frustrated because I felt like there was something blocking me from hearing Him. I sat looking into the ocean and asked God to show me something, begging for anything- and he did it. 

Even though I could not see the sun all day, it was still there. Even though I am in a season where I am not seeing miracles or hearing God often, He is still there. 

It was obvious to me at that point, after 5 hours straight on the beach, that there was some sun beneath the clouds, but it was not until later that I realized just how much sun I had gotten. I am burnt to a crisp, ask anyone on the trip or even probably Instagram could tell you as much. When I was sitting there in the cold wind on the beach I thought I was not getting any sun because I couldn't see it, but I was getting more sun than I thought was possible through the clouds. One day on the beach and what looks like a week's worth of sunburn showed me even more so that through this time of cloudy thoughts, confusion, and what feels like a dry season, God may be just behind the clouds. Although I am ready to graduate in May more than anything and am going through a season of big decisions, my faith is strong because he can still work through the clouds. I still got a bad sunburn even though I barely saw the sun with my eyes. He is still working in my life even though I cannot seem to see Him.  Maybe you are walking through a season (like me) where you feel like God is being silent or you aren't receiving the answers or breakthrough you have been praying for, just know that even on the cloudy days at the beach, the sun is still there. I knew going into the trip that overcast days produced just as much, if not more, sunburn than sunny days, but until I saw the results I was not completely convinced. Know that I am not out of the season yet, but He promised us in the midst of the cloudy season that he is only just beyond the clouds and He can still work just as much, if not more when we cannot see exactly what He is working on. 

"It is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you." Deuteronomy 31:6

Appreciation goes first and foremost to the one behind the clouds, for speaking into my season of misunderstanding and seemingly silent answers, but also to the people who made this short trip one of the best. To the soon-to-be bride, Bri, and some of the coolest friends around- thank you for stretching me, loving me, and not waking me up early. You guys are truly the best around. 

*Photos by the incredibly talented April Harrison*