when traditions change...

When traditions change....

Every person has different traditions for holidays and different things that make Christmas feel like Christmas to them. It is crazy the way we identify our holidays by the things we do instead of the reasons we do them. Coming from a family with yearly holiday get togethers at the same house, with the same people, the same music, the same ornaments, the same story, and all in the same order, when things happen and shake the tradition that has not been broken for decades it becomes a time to reflect and discover what I am actually looking forward to. That has happened this Christmas for me. Long story short- it involves the hospital, divorce, and so many other factors that have changed what is "normal" for Christmas for me and my family. 

• First, questions without defined answers. 
• Second, mixed emotions. 
• Third, new plans being made.
• Last, acceptance and reflection.

I think the first few steps are self explanatory and natural for anyone (especially a planner and organizer like myself), but the last can be different for every person. This year I have had to realize that Christmas is not defined by going to my grandparents house on Christmas eve with the extended family as well as immediate, waking up early to see Santa has come Christmas morning, and spending the rest of the day lazy around the house. This year it looked a little more like this- small Christmas eve get together with food, presents, and the Christmas story without the whole family and minus a few traditions, seeing what Santa brought around 11pm on Christmas Eve, taking a road trip with my brother to my dad's house as Christmas becomes Christmas day and we drive on through the midnight hours, waking up late instead of early and going to a Christmas lunch I have never been to before with a different side of my family. Wow, for a traditional person that might sound like a nightmare, and I think that is exactly what the devil was trying to make me believe.

This is where Jesus steps in- and ultimately reminds me that no matter how many times I read Luke 2 on Christmas Eve it is so easy to make Christmas about the traditions instead of about the birthday of my King. Therefore, with traditions out the window I had to realize what it was we are celebrating. It isn't family (even though that is wonderful), it isn't presents and Santa Claus coming to town, and it most definitely is not the traditions that take place year after year- it is Jesus and only Jesus. How awesome is it to know that no matter the earthly circumstance or life changes or lack of Christmas decorations at one house and overuse of at the other or anything else that attempts to take away the pure joy of Christmas, it cannot be taken away because my salvation can never be taken away and that is found in the birth of my savior on Christmas Day. Go ahead and tell me something that is better.... just kidding because you can't. So long ago today, the history of everything was changed in a manger because there was no room for Jesus to be born anywhere else. I am sure this is sounding like the cliche Christian Christmas post, but when I really realized what was taking place, nothing means more than radiating with joy during this holiday time because of what was done then, and not what is going on now. So to finish out my phrase from the title...

When traditions change,  Jesus always remains the same.

I hope I never get to the point where my traditions must change in order to once again realize the real meaning, but I will always see the meaning before the traditions. Rejoicing because one day I will be with my king, Jesus, for eternity and I am sure the Christmas celebration in heaven will be more perfect than any tradition or decorations or anything I could even fathom on this earth.

clean your sheets

       Sometimes we all just need to clean the sheets....  now that you are confused let me explain. Every relationship we are in (between friends, parents, and every other person in our lives) has good times and bad, we all know that, but sometimes we can reach a place where we are stuck. We can be stuck because we were wronged and are hurt, we can be stuck because we haven't spent time with the other person, we can be stuck because the other person is holding something against us or vice versa, and on and on and on. Thats how every relationship works. Being stuck in relationships is like having dirty sheets. It isn't necessarily fun to clean them and take time out of our busy lives to make that happen, but it is necessary, and they only get dirtier as we put it off and wait to do something about it. 
       The process for cleaning the sheets can be easy or it can be hard. Maybe it's been so long and they have gotten stained; we're too deep that forgiveness itself will not fix the problem and other measures need to be taken. Maybe its easy, and all we have to do is throw them in the empty washer and dryer and someone is there to help us put them back on the bed immediately; the problem is fixed simply with only a little effort and met by the effort of the other person. Maybe they are to the point where you feel like you want to throw them away and just try to find new sheets; you either will have to make time to go out and spend money on new sheets or take time to fix the wrinkled, stained and dirty old ones no matter how difficult and long the process is. Either way, no matter the condition of the sheets, something will have to be done- we get to decide what we do about it. 

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." Colossians 3:12-14

       Typically in Scripture I've found that when God repeats something in the same passage it is probably pretty important. These verses speak into my soul. Basically, God has cleaned my sheets and your sheets (forgiven the sins we have committed against Him without us even asking and done more than enough to make sure when we are ready to come to Him we have clean sheets waiting on us and a new start in our relationship with Him); therefore, we need to take the first step the same way He did, and make an effort to forgive those who have wronged us, or hurt us, or who we find ourselves holding a grudge on because we haven't truly gotten the whole story or don't understand the entire circumstances. If we make the first step, and start getting the stains out, sewing up the holes and wash and dry the old sheets in the form of conversations and forgiveness, then when the other person is ready to return and figure it out the bulk will be done and the clean sheets can be enjoyed, and the relationship will be restored much easier if we have already taken the time to do our part.
       Forgiveness is a topic that is so hard to do and so easy to come up with excuses for, yet so important for us to take part in and make a priority in our lives. I find myself struggling with this exact situation often, where I am waiting for the other person to start washing, but I haven't made any effort to get the stains out. This may seem like a silly post, but I believe God is using this as a sort of modern day parable, and I am so thankful he is using me as His vessel. We all know how good it feels to lay on clean sheets, so if we are spending our nights letting our sheets, and relationships, keep getting dirtier and more messed up, then it will only be harder when we finally make our attempts to clean them.

thankfully inspired by the One who is greater,
                                           Bayly

glimpses of JOY

Why does God give us talents? I've always been told that God graciously gives us talents to use to bring others to Christ and to publicly glorify His name, which I believe, but what if some talents are for a different reason. What if every person you see had an amazing talent you knew nothing about? Something crazy, awesome about them that only they know about and sometimes they don't even realize themselves. I believe this is true. What if God gives us talents with only the intent of us enjoying it and God enjoying it and no one else knowing about it- I think he does. 
For me it is the piano. Many of you don't know that I play because I'm not in a band and don't post Instagram videos of myself playing, etc... but I do. I'm no Mozart, but I can play chords, and if you know anything about music, chords = songs. I don't think I am disobeying God for not playing in church or using the talent he has given me publicly, because I have found that every time I take a seat at the piano, it is like I am taking a seat in the presence of Jesus. How crazy that must sound, but how awesome it feels to feel like one with my Savior. Maybe God gives us talents such as this in order to communicate with Him in a way that is personal to us and that pleases Him immensely. Maybe I am part of something so much greater only by taking a seat and hitting a few chords with my mind focused on Heaven. Maybe God gave me this gift to be solely for me and Him. 

"Do your work willingly, as though you were serving the Lord himself, and not just your earthly master. In fact, the Lord Christ is the one you are really serving, and you know he will reward you."                         -Colossians 3:23-24 CEV

If God gives each of us talents, no matter what they may be, that shows His grand design in the creation of each of us and of our lives before we were even on earth and how special we are in His eyes. That the God of the whole universe would pay special attention to give every single one of us a talent/talents just for the pure idea of enjoyment and communication between the earth we live in and the heaven where He resides. Tell me that our God is not incredible, I dare you. When we look around we see things we wish we had or could do (maybe singing, dancing, writing, or any other talent under the sun), but just maybe, God gave us something special so that it could be a love language between us and our creator, personally, and not something we receive applause for on earth but only when we join Him in heaven. I can't wait for the day I join Him for eternity, but until then I know God wants me to continue to connect with Him through the gifts he has given me on earth, whether super talented or not, and learn to communicate through what He has given me. I urge every single person reading this to realize that God created you specifically with talents and gifts, and I may be wrong, but I believe some of these are specifically to communicate with the God who blessed you with them. Think about that and see the joy that comes when you use what God gives you to praise Him and to find your identity and community in His name. Hallelujah, our God is greater than anything this earth has to offer- finding joy in Him gives a glimpse of perfection in a world of brokenness.

"Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;

you formed me in my mother’s womb.

I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!

Body and soul, I am marvelously made!

I worship in adoration—what a creation!

You know me inside and out,

you know every bone in my body;

You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,

how I was sculpted from nothing into something.

Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;

all the stages of my life were spread out before you,

The days of my life all prepared

before I’d even lived one day."   -Psalm 139:14 MSG

stop looking

Obviously I don't have a set schedule for blog posts considering my last post was in August and it is approaching the end of October, I just write when I feel like God has given me something meaningful to say. It seems to me that God likes writing blogs around midnight, maybe because I am sleepy and he can send His words straight to my fingers and bypass my imperfect human brain, but that's just a thought. Typically I have an idea before I begin typing about what my point is and how I am going to use certain stories and whatnot, but today I only have one word and my God who I am trusting will write this post for me the way He always does. Gideon. That's all I've got at this point, so I am going to start with a quick overview of the Biblical story of Gideon beginning in Judges 6.

Gideon is a young Israelite boy, one of the weakest in his family, and he is introduced in a time where the Midianites have been given complete control of the Israelites because of their continued disobedience to God. Gideon is a part of the desperate cries of Israel to God for help after they realized that there was nothing they could do on their own- they had no food, no shelter, and every accomplishment they made was immediately knocked down by Midian. One day, Gideon was trying to secretly get food for his family and an angel came to him and told him God was going to use him to save Israel from Midian. As you can imagine, Gideon was stunned and questioned the authenticity of the angel and the calling God had for him at this moment. He came up with every excuse (I am weak, God isn't with us anymore because He gave us to Midian, how can I be the one to save all of Israel, etc.) but God showed him that He was God and gave Gideon a peace of mind to trust Him. Gideon requested that God prove that He really wanted to use him by doing a "magic trick" and without a doubt God delivered. Yet Gideon was still on the fence, although I am sure he knew at this point that it was legit, he asked for another miracle, and again another. After three miracles from God to prove his calling, Gideon decided to believe him, but he still doubts. God uses a few methods to

shrink the army of Gideon so low that Gideon becomes uneasy and loses his sense of safety he created with the multitudes of people fighting on his behalf, and once again he asks God for a sign. God tells him to go down and listen if he still has any doubts, and when he does he hears the enemy stating that Gideon has won the battle in their dreams-giving Gideon the power to fight with his small army and defeat the Midianites the way God initially told him it would take place. Following this eavesdropping that boosted his spirit, Gideon went out on faith and did exactly what God told him he would do from the beginning, only delayed a bit because of his fear that crippled him. Although he was unsteady- God was, and always is, constant and true to His word.

I start to relate my life with Gideon's when he begins to ask for signs to prove that it is God talking to him, when in reality he already knows it is him and is only stalling because he is scared. Lately I have been faced with so many decisions that will affect my future (searching for a major, deciding when to do things and in what order, and tons more) and even giving over those decisions to God and feeling peace in the waiting, I am questioning the answers that God is giving me and wanting to make sure they are from God, when in my heart I know they are. My prayers are being answered and yet I still am asking the same questions over and over again to "make sure" that it is God, and this is only because I'm scared to take a step even though God is stepping with me. Gideon knew that it was God from the beginning and he sort of tested God even though he knew the answer wouldn't change- the answer either wasn't what he wanted or  he was too scared to believe that it was true. Trusting God's answers is the only way we can move forward into God's will for our lives. If we only ask God for his answers in hopes that he will tell us what we want to hear we will only be disappointed and will never stop asking for an answer that will not come because when God answers with his perfect will, He will not change. In a way this sounds disappointing- that God is not going to always give us exactly what we want to hear- but also it's encouraging, that no matter how many times we ask for an answer from our Father in heaven, he will always give us the same answer-we just have to accept it and reap the benefits that come from listening to the still small voice of our creator in Heaven who knows ALL things. 

It sounds easy to accept the answer God gives us, especially when we have given our problems to Him and given Him control in order to have peace, and until we truly trust and take a step in faith we will never understand the ways he will move when we just listen. If taking a step in faith and writing this blog post right now is the biggest calling God has on my life, then I hope that forever I will be able to listen to his almighty answers and take the challenge to type, allowing God to use me without knowledge of how until the post is done. It is so awesome to see the way God answers prayers and leads me through life even when I am too stubborn or scared to accept it, because when I finally do, it is worth it. The same way Gideon conquered Midian and doubted his calling completely, I hope that every person who reads this will be able to conquer your calling for the kingdom of God and trust completely in the answers God gives you to begin with- but it is nice to know that even when we question God or ask Him to prove himself, he doesn't get frustrated and his answer is always the same, and He will prove himself to us until we accept it no matter how long that takes. 

I hope this post has been a blessing to just one person reading it, and everyone reading this know that I am writing to myself as well. As mentioned above, I don't write these posts, God does. He uses me (an imperfect tool) to write his perfect story for y'all to hear and I couldn't be more happy to share in this and to learn from what my fingers type that comes from the heavenly voice of God. It is always fun for me to go back and read what He has written through my post because I never really know until the post is done and I can marvel at His work and be forever grateful that he chose me for this small work and we can all be forever grateful for every big and small work he prepares for us. I believe that while waiting and even when testing God and his answers he gives us little snippets of knowledge that can carry us through, and for whoever needs this today I hope that you receive this from Jesus because it has been carrying me through lately in relation to so many things: 

because you can't go wrong with a picture of His beautiful creation

Stop looking, and start waiting on God to show you. He will show you whatever you are looking for and it will be more clear to you and in perfect timing if we just wait on Him.

ONE day for the books

Well, today has been one of those days- y'all know what I mean. A day of emotions, tears, smiles, and a million other things. Let me preface this post by saying I am not a typically "emotional-over-everything" person, but I tend to hold back tears and emotions and eventually they all come out at once. So when I tell the events of today please don't think I am over exaggerating or being dramatic, just know that today was the day they all were released... and for reasons I believe were necessary.
Oh, and I am not in any way looking for pity, just explaining how a crappy day can be turned into quite the opposite with the help of Jesus

Let's start with a short synopsis of today's event, beginning with this morning. Comfortably sleeping in my bed, waiting for my late alarm because of 10 o'clock classes. Vicious knocking at the door wakes me up- here comes phase 1 of the day's upsetting events. I walked outside, just out of bed, and there lays my first pet, my dog of many years, Honey, on the side of the road in my yard, and a woman and her grandson saying words to me I honestly do not remember. One of the smartest dogs I have ever seen, definitely the smartest of our large pack of dogs, and she is lying cold in the yard. Keeping this brief in order to hold back emotions, something I am way too good at doing... After my dad comes back home and buries her, my eyes were tear-stained and my alarm was going off. Lovely start to my day---Fast forward to school. School goes by, boring as usual, then work comes around- Phase 2. I work in a daycare and was with the 4-5 year olds today, who just "graduated" from preschool to daycare, and are most likely adjusting more to being so-called, big kids, than their parents are. Short fact about me- I don't handle confrontation very well, especially when the floodgates have already been open and my contacts are already cloudy from crying. Nothing can hold me back at this point. So here comes THE parent, thinking for some reason I could handle it I volunteered to go talk to him when he sternly requested one of the workers to come outside. I should've read the signs, and given over that conversation to someone else but I didn't. Apparently his little girl had a huge (invisible) knot on her head and none of us told him she fell. We knew she fell but she was fine and was playing and we didn't see a knot to tell him about. Let's just say he was stern, and I was weak. Playing on the earlier events of the day, that was a bad combination. It took all of me to hold back the tears until he took one step out of the room, and I had a difficult time explaining to the other workers what was going on because I was basically balling. At this point I am hysterical- instead of singing "open the floodgates of Heaven," I'm begging, "Jesus close my floodgates." ----I know that wasn't funny, just pretend. Oh, and to top it all off I am walking around with one shoe off trying to get some fresh air on a horrible ingrown toenail that is making me limp- and if you have ever had one you will understand.

I couldn't meet Pastor Chris and not get a picture!

The story gets better here. My red face and teary eyes have been looking forward to one thing all day, and this one thing happens to be ONE at Church of the Highlands in Ttown, with none other than Pastor Chris Hodges(!!!) to speak in Tuscaloosa- all of satan's attempts to knock me down only made me unsteady, he never got me down and stopped me from going to ONE the way I know he was intending to do, and praise God for that! With friends eating supper, the laughter came. With worshipping Jesus in a small room with a bunch of sweaty college students who love him, the joy came. And with an awesome message on eternity from Pastor Chris, I realized that I had overcome the obstacles Satan threw at me and made it to church in order to hear one of the greatest messages and most impacting I have ever heard. It all makes sense now. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason, and usually I attribute all things to God, but I realized that God didn't have a reason for my upsetting awakening this morning, my unpleasant encounter at work, or my throbbing toe that I should really take to the doctor- these were attempts to keep me from encountering God the way I did tonight- and I overcame them with the encouragement by friends, family, and ultimately Jesus Christ. It is crazy how a day that is from hell (literally) can turn into a day that I learn things I didn't know about God and feel the presence of God like never before. I was inspired by Pastor Chris to set a new motto for myself, "Give, Serve, and share Christ intentionally," and if I can get through a day like today then I absolutely can do that. I left ONE tonight with an awesome sense of fellowship from Jesus-lovers like myself, and also with a newly driven purpose to live my life by. How awesome is Jesus everybody???


*Side note- ONE Ttown is awesome and meets almost every Wednesday night at the Highlands office complex at 8! You have been invited- let me know if you have questions. Promise you will not regret going, it is the highlight of my week!!

Jesus is STILL rooting for me

Here it goes... my first blog post. Bear with me. 

I made this blog with the intent of documenting and sharing the gifts God so gracefully gives me day in and day out with my future self, and anyone else who wants to hear about how great OUR God is. Of course, as I have been waiting for the perfect story, sunset, or moment to happen for my first blog post, God had a different plan. So instead of telling you guys how I have joyfully accepted and taken pleasure in a gift from heaven, I am speaking of the gift of opportunity and the way we can reject it or accept it. 
So it all began today in the Tuscaloosa DMV to get my driver's license renewed. If you have ever been to the DMV you are probably already wondering how there could be any good thing, or gift, involved- I don't blame you for thinking so. So I signed in at 12:39 pm and I walked out at 2:46 pm. 2 whole hours wasted sitting in a waiting room, but what I now see is that those hours did not have to be wasted. 
During those 2 hours, God was sitting in one of those chairs (rather standing- they were all full) handing me opportunities, and I did not even realize it. Worst of all, I didn't accept them. Later I realized that not only did I give up these opportunities, I gave up the very gifts that I have been waiting and begging God for. 

Two lost opportunities in the DMV: 

1. A woman carrying a baby, and her mother, were standing in the room waiting for one of their children to come out of the testing area, and this precious baby knocks a full can of Sprite right out of his mom's hand. Not only does every wall say "NO FOOD OR DRINKS," but the whole room full of people just stopped and stared, myself included. I did not have the guts to get up and help the mom with child clean up the drink- something so simple, but I was afraid to stand up. At that moment I could feel the spiritual warfare going on inside myself- God pushing me and stirring me up inside and Satan magnetizing me to the chair. I am a sinner- and Satan used one of my greatest weaknesses, the fear of man, to cause me to reject the gift God was offering me in the opportunity. 

2. A different woman walked in with a baby sleeping, a large baby I will add, and of course there were no chairs open. She checked in and stood in the corner and once again God was nudging me to the edge of my seat. I could almost hear him saying, "My daughter, give her your seat! You don't need it like she does." My reaction stayed the same. I let the stronghold of Satan paralyze me rather than seeing the light and love Jesus was offering me to give in that moment. 

 This Scripture that I read this morning before going to the DMV has been stuck in my mind all day, therefore I know God is giving me this as a communication that it wasn't either woman with child that I rejected today- it was Jesus himself. And it hurts my heart to know that I can love Him so much and still allow myself to sit comfortably and ignore Him.. please take a second to soak in these words of Jesus.

"Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Enter, you who are blessed by my Father! Take what’s coming to you in this kingdom. It’s been ready for you since the world’s foundation. And here’s why: I was hungry and you fed me, I was thirsty and you gave me a drink, I was homeless and you gave me a room, I was shivering and you gave me clothes, I was sick and you stopped to visit, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then those ‘sheep’ are going to say, ‘Master, what are you talking about? When did we ever see you hungry and feed you, thirsty and give you a drink? And when did we ever see you sick or in prison and come to you?’ Then the King will say, ‘I’m telling the solemn truth: Whenever you did one of these things to someone overlooked or ignored, that was me—you did it to me."         -Matthew 25: 34-40 MSG

So now you all probably think I am a horrible person and that I should not even be writing a blog about gifts if this is all I have to say, and to make that better I will say that the drink got cleaned up pretty quickly and the woman carrying a sleeping baby girl very soon got a seat as someone was called back--- and I am not perfect in any way, shape, or form. I know that my Father is in heaven watching me and is not disappointed with my inability to step out of my comfort zone, but he is rooting me on and giving me more and more courage to take a stance next time and clean up or get up. As this day has gone on and I left the DMV I have been reflecting on what could have been done differently and why God sent me these tasks, or challenges, instead of the gifts I was hoping for. Hopefully I have spread some truth with you all, if anyone is reading this, and also let you know that no matter how many times we fail, Jesus is always right there rooting us on for the next opportunity, and he cannot wait to give us the next gift- we just have to accept it. And I know when we do we will be more full of joy than any beautiful moment or sunset could ever give us (and for me that is a whole lot of joy.)

I will be praying for the gift of opportunity to fall on you and for your ability and power to accept it in Jesus' name,
Good night!

-Bayly

I had to include this fiery sunset I was graced with tonight as well, I apologize for the bad quality :)