stop looking

Obviously I don't have a set schedule for blog posts considering my last post was in August and it is approaching the end of October, I just write when I feel like God has given me something meaningful to say. It seems to me that God likes writing blogs around midnight, maybe because I am sleepy and he can send His words straight to my fingers and bypass my imperfect human brain, but that's just a thought. Typically I have an idea before I begin typing about what my point is and how I am going to use certain stories and whatnot, but today I only have one word and my God who I am trusting will write this post for me the way He always does. Gideon. That's all I've got at this point, so I am going to start with a quick overview of the Biblical story of Gideon beginning in Judges 6.

Gideon is a young Israelite boy, one of the weakest in his family, and he is introduced in a time where the Midianites have been given complete control of the Israelites because of their continued disobedience to God. Gideon is a part of the desperate cries of Israel to God for help after they realized that there was nothing they could do on their own- they had no food, no shelter, and every accomplishment they made was immediately knocked down by Midian. One day, Gideon was trying to secretly get food for his family and an angel came to him and told him God was going to use him to save Israel from Midian. As you can imagine, Gideon was stunned and questioned the authenticity of the angel and the calling God had for him at this moment. He came up with every excuse (I am weak, God isn't with us anymore because He gave us to Midian, how can I be the one to save all of Israel, etc.) but God showed him that He was God and gave Gideon a peace of mind to trust Him. Gideon requested that God prove that He really wanted to use him by doing a "magic trick" and without a doubt God delivered. Yet Gideon was still on the fence, although I am sure he knew at this point that it was legit, he asked for another miracle, and again another. After three miracles from God to prove his calling, Gideon decided to believe him, but he still doubts. God uses a few methods to

shrink the army of Gideon so low that Gideon becomes uneasy and loses his sense of safety he created with the multitudes of people fighting on his behalf, and once again he asks God for a sign. God tells him to go down and listen if he still has any doubts, and when he does he hears the enemy stating that Gideon has won the battle in their dreams-giving Gideon the power to fight with his small army and defeat the Midianites the way God initially told him it would take place. Following this eavesdropping that boosted his spirit, Gideon went out on faith and did exactly what God told him he would do from the beginning, only delayed a bit because of his fear that crippled him. Although he was unsteady- God was, and always is, constant and true to His word.

I start to relate my life with Gideon's when he begins to ask for signs to prove that it is God talking to him, when in reality he already knows it is him and is only stalling because he is scared. Lately I have been faced with so many decisions that will affect my future (searching for a major, deciding when to do things and in what order, and tons more) and even giving over those decisions to God and feeling peace in the waiting, I am questioning the answers that God is giving me and wanting to make sure they are from God, when in my heart I know they are. My prayers are being answered and yet I still am asking the same questions over and over again to "make sure" that it is God, and this is only because I'm scared to take a step even though God is stepping with me. Gideon knew that it was God from the beginning and he sort of tested God even though he knew the answer wouldn't change- the answer either wasn't what he wanted or  he was too scared to believe that it was true. Trusting God's answers is the only way we can move forward into God's will for our lives. If we only ask God for his answers in hopes that he will tell us what we want to hear we will only be disappointed and will never stop asking for an answer that will not come because when God answers with his perfect will, He will not change. In a way this sounds disappointing- that God is not going to always give us exactly what we want to hear- but also it's encouraging, that no matter how many times we ask for an answer from our Father in heaven, he will always give us the same answer-we just have to accept it and reap the benefits that come from listening to the still small voice of our creator in Heaven who knows ALL things. 

It sounds easy to accept the answer God gives us, especially when we have given our problems to Him and given Him control in order to have peace, and until we truly trust and take a step in faith we will never understand the ways he will move when we just listen. If taking a step in faith and writing this blog post right now is the biggest calling God has on my life, then I hope that forever I will be able to listen to his almighty answers and take the challenge to type, allowing God to use me without knowledge of how until the post is done. It is so awesome to see the way God answers prayers and leads me through life even when I am too stubborn or scared to accept it, because when I finally do, it is worth it. The same way Gideon conquered Midian and doubted his calling completely, I hope that every person who reads this will be able to conquer your calling for the kingdom of God and trust completely in the answers God gives you to begin with- but it is nice to know that even when we question God or ask Him to prove himself, he doesn't get frustrated and his answer is always the same, and He will prove himself to us until we accept it no matter how long that takes. 

I hope this post has been a blessing to just one person reading it, and everyone reading this know that I am writing to myself as well. As mentioned above, I don't write these posts, God does. He uses me (an imperfect tool) to write his perfect story for y'all to hear and I couldn't be more happy to share in this and to learn from what my fingers type that comes from the heavenly voice of God. It is always fun for me to go back and read what He has written through my post because I never really know until the post is done and I can marvel at His work and be forever grateful that he chose me for this small work and we can all be forever grateful for every big and small work he prepares for us. I believe that while waiting and even when testing God and his answers he gives us little snippets of knowledge that can carry us through, and for whoever needs this today I hope that you receive this from Jesus because it has been carrying me through lately in relation to so many things: 

because you can't go wrong with a picture of His beautiful creation

Stop looking, and start waiting on God to show you. He will show you whatever you are looking for and it will be more clear to you and in perfect timing if we just wait on Him.