say my name

Tuesday, July 28, 2015

“You have a tattoo?!” 
Yes I do.
“What is it? What does it mean?”
It stands for constancy, and the way God always stays the same when everything else changes. Like the circle doesn't change, neither does He. 
“How do you know?”
Know what?
“That God never changes”
Because He has shown me over and over again.
“Because He is God and you believe what He says.”


This conversation was had today between myself and a woman of God I admire, respect and love, who also happens to be my boss. I learned two things from this short conversation, and until reading this (if she reads it), she wouldn’t know the impact had on me today by the very simple question she asked me upon seeing my tattoo at work. I was in the back by myself, washing dishes and feeling the steaming water growing my hair, but more importantly, I was washing dishes to escape. I was in a slump I couldn’t find the source to, and in a mood I couldn't describe with no specific reason why. I thought if I could just get away from people for a minute I could clear my mind and get over whatever it was that I had gotten into, or maybe just put a finger on what was bothering me, and I was right, but I was also wrong. I stood there, washing plates and cleaning up the messes people left behind asking God to fix whatever was wrong, to put me in a better mood, to allow me to not feel this bad and to renew my mind of whatever this problem was that I knew I was having but didn't know why. Not a very specific prayer, but my Father knew exactly how to answer it. Indirectly, through this lovely woman, He said “speak My name,” my beloved daughter, “speak the name of your God.”
I did- not by choice, just to answer a simple question that interrupted my prayer to fix whatever it is that was wrong with me. The answer to my prayer was so simple, yet so complex- bring me into your life outside of quiet time, outside of reading my word, outside of screaming Hillsong in your car alone; Say My Name. I didn’t know that this was my answer until she walked away, and I was smiling thinking of the day I got the tattoo and the prayers that took place before it. The people that were there with me and the encouragement of friends who love Jesus. Most of all, the reason I got the tattoo, because time and time again, as well as, all at once, my God proved himself faithful and showed me that its okay when things change because He doesn’t- EVER. Never has, never will. And when I found myself in a bad mood, most likely held down by the devil attempting to keep my joy from reaching the surface, God said “Bayly, do you remember what I’ve done? Do you remember why you got that tattoo? Do you remember that I love you, even when you don't act like you're loved by me? Do you remember?” He reminded me. A simple question blended my quiet relationship with God to my (also quiet) relationship with people. Two worlds collided and it brought me more joy than anything else could. 

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous man runs into it and is safe."  Proverbs 18:10

Second thing, did you see the question she asked after I explained the tattoo? Go back and read it.
 “How do you know?”
How do I know that God stays the same? This is my boss who loves Jesus, I should have the right answer here, but what is the right answer? Is this a trick question? All of this went through my mind, and I fumbled for the first words I could get out. 
“Because He has showed me over and over again.”
This is true, completely true, his constancy is a testament to how God has worked in me and is working through me. But her response tested me, tested my faith, and tested the way I describe my God to other people. 
“Because he is God and you believe what he says.”
Simple, but difficult. No evidence in that statement- just faith. Faith that He is real, His word is true, and He continues to be who He says He is today. All of these things that I believe, but wasn't sure how to put into words. Not sure the response I would get from other people if I spoke these words or how it would come across, but she just said it. Complete faith, faith to free fall and know that God is at the bottom even when you cannot see him there. How many times do people ask you how you know what you state is true? Especially people who believe the same that you do? Its a question I will begin to ask myself more often, and a question I believe we, as believers, should use more frequently. We don't have to have a scientific proof to state what we believe. Im not saying we don’t ever need that or wont ever have conversation like that, but it isn't necessary. We can simply say that we believe because we believe, and that is enough. Wow, the joy of the name of God and the reminders he gives that are so simple, yet so complex, just because He is listening- and He loves me. 


“So that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:10-11





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