A few years ago I thought I was living the life, I had lots of friends, just moved into a new house, and was getting ready for what were supposed to be the best years of my life, junior and senior year of high school. Little did I know, Satan was planning something that I would never wish upon anyone and he began to spring it on me in pieces right before summer of my junior year. Beginning with my friends deciding that me and my best friend were no longer part of the group, then having to find a new church because the only reason I was there was because of those friends. Then, my parents told me they were getting a divorce, and that unthinkable truth began to tear me apart. Some of you may remember seeing me at school the next day looking like I had died and come to school straight out of the grave. Puffy eyes and untamable tears, and only one person knew what was going on. I was left without my group of friends, to go through something terrible and no one even asked me what was wrong. I literally thought my life was over. I would soon be graduating high school, living a less than expected senior year, and at the end of the summer my best friend would move 3 hours away. I would leave the school I knew for my whole life and the people I knew my whole life and jump right into college, a new chapter, as soon as I graduated. Me and my brother went from living in one house with two parents, to living in two houses and jumping back and forth week after week (and transporting my closet with me), and I was left with no church, no friends, no stability, and above everything, a whole lot of change.
Well, for me change has never been a good thing. Lunch plans changing irritates me a bit if I am being completely honest. I like to know what is going on, have everything prepared for and taken care of, and be able to watch my nicely planned day fall together the way it was "supposed" to. The past year has completely changed that mindset for me. I have seen the beauty in change, and the way comfort can only come in times of heartbreak and tears because of the God who is greater than everything earthly.
First thing, I found Church of the Highlands. I found small groups, and I found almost all of the people who are now my best friends and I did not know their names or faces a year ago. Because I was forced to step out of my comfort zone and join a small group that I was terrified of doing, I found comfort in the change. Next, moves happened smoothly, and the arguing I had grown accustomed to with my parents no longer existed, me and my brother got used to the switching around and a week away from each of them made me start to appreciate both of my parents more, and get closer to them, I found comfort in the change. I started school at Shelton and no longer faced the people who had left me out and I no longer felt like the odd one out of the group, I found comfort in the change. If none of the things I thought were horrible and the end of the world happened, none of these things could have happened either. I would be miserable in the old instead of comfortable in the change.
The most important thing that happened in the year my life fell apart is a decision I made. I fought with it and I tried to ignore it but there was no denying that I had a dilemma and I had to decide how I was going to get through it. It was going to be completely without God, letting myself mourn for myself and me make all my decisions, or it was going to be completely surrendered to God. Thankfully, I chose the second option. If these things would not have happened, I would have kept living my "almost" Christian life and never experienced the joy and love and hope that comes with having an eternity to call my home. If I would not have said yes to Jesus, I would have missed out on all the friends I now have and the relationship I have with my Father in heaven. If I would not have had this heartbreaking event in my life, I would still be stuck in neutral, not being able to go forward or backward and only moving with the people around me. But also, if I wouldn't have said yes to Him then, He would still be waiting for me now and forever because he loves me that much, and he loves you that much too. Satan intended to use all of this to destroy me, to make me blame myself and to make me live a miserable, upset, and empty life, but my God did not leave me alone. He came to save the day, He saved me from the things I was suffering and showed my the life He has for me. He showed me how to find the joy in both the things of the ordinary and the terrible things that came (and still come) my way. I fell in love with the God of the universe, my Father in Heaven who created me and is waiting for me in paradise, and the God who leads my every steps and works everything for my good BECAUSE of the terrible things that I thought were the end of the world. The end of the world was the beginning of my real life of joy in Jesus Christ.
Since I made this decision and began to know my Savior, so many awesome things have happened (bad things too.) Life still happens when we know Jesus and seek Him, "life" just seems a little less important and Jesus seems more. As some of you may know already, I have surrendered my life to what God has planned for me in Highlands College (please read that story and support me financially at www.gofundme.com/baylybusby), and I was saved physically from a wreck that was intended to destroy me, but barely hurt me, and was shown that my purpose is greater than what I have done. As I started to say yes to God's plans for me, the devil began to throw punches, but God is standing in front of me taking the punches because it is not time for me to fall- my purpose is bigger than that, bigger than a wreck can destroy, and no matter what else satan throws I know my God is bigger.
I want you to know that this is not just my story, God wants it to be yours too. He is standing there looking at you waiting and hoping that you will seek Him and find him in your heartbreak, and if satan is holding you under the water right now, God will pull you out, all you have to do is look to Him. He is waiting for you, only because He wants you to make the decision and not be forced, and it will be the best decision you have ever made. Take my word for it. If you are on the edge, feel like everything is falling apart and you don't want to keep going in this life, know that there is another life and there is a Father who can take you there and give you glimpses of the joy of eternity even while you are still here. Everything that is holding you back from going all in, it is worth giving up. Everything is worth losing if Jesus is gained. If I could go back a year or two and redo everything, I wouldn't, because that would mean I would lose the one thing that stays the same when everything else changes, my Father.
As an analogy, my life was a little bit like a puzzle, I had all the pieces and was just trying to put them together into what I thought would be perfect. God began to slowly replace the pieces of my puzzle with the pieces of His, and it messed me up- it confused me, made me angry, and really ruined my comfort. I then found that the puzzle He was making was much better, and he wasn't giving me random pieces, but He was giving me pieces to a new puzzle altogether that was thousands of times better than the first. I am still putting that puzzle together, but I know it will be better than any puzzle I could put together for myself and I know my God has plans better than I could ever ask or imagine.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be the glory, forever and ever, Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
